Yesterday (Friday) I returned to training, four days after pulling a muscle in my lower back. I was eager to get back on the mats and get my rolling fix. However, I knew my back was still not 100% so it was imperative that I took it easy, that mean absolutely no sparring at the end. As the warm-up progressed it was evident that my back was still only at 50%, and the Euros were exactly 2 weeks away. At this point in my preparation I needed to concentrate on getting myself as close to 100% as possible, but when I was on the mat, even though it hurt all I wanted to do was roll, play my guard, look for sweeps, position before submission, but that submission is everything.... so just a 'light' 10 minute roll at the end, which inevitably turned into a full blow competitive 100% roll. I can't fight the addiction. The results of my transgression were as follows:
1. My back in worse condition than before the session.
2. Another trip to the pharmacy this morning. Calling upon the big guns; Deep Heat (my back currently feels like it's on fire, this is a good thing right?)
3. A self-imposed ban on Jiu-Jitsu until next Friday.
Yes, No rolling until 7 days before the biggest tournament I have ever fought in.
This morning, whilst walking back from the chemists, I saw a father assisting his 4 year old son (all ages of children +/- 3 years when I have to guess) urinate against one of those trees planted in the pavement to 'brighten up' the city. I couldn't imagine this happening in any city in England, but then I have not had any kids yet. I guess when they gotta go, they gotta go.
I now have a public safety warning that anyone who plans to visit Berlin must pay very special attention to. On the tube this morning I encountered, for the second time, the smelliest hobo alive. He simultaneous smells like human and canine excrement blended together and decomposing flesh. If you could bottle this smell you would have the best stink bomb in the world. He works the U7/U9 line, and unfortunately this morning he seemed to be going to the same place as me, changing lines when I did. I sadly did not have my camera to give any tourists a chance of recognition, but to be honest you smell him long before you see him.
Product Review: POWER BALANCE BAND
It is of the utmost important that whenever you refer to the POWER BALANCE BAND it must be in caps lock and a larger font, even when talking about it around the office water cooler. Before I give this review I must state that I am in no way sponsored or affiliated with the POWER BALANCE BAND. They did approach me seeking my endorsement, along side such greats as Christian Ronaldo, David Beckham and Shaquille O'Neal they were keen to see this BJJ blue belt give support to their product. However in the constant and never-ending search for objectivity* I had to make the sacrifice and refuse the fantastic offers, which included my very own jacuzzi filled with POWER BALANCE BANDs. In the interests of my own sanity and to avoid becoming David Walliams and the other one from Little Britian (repeating the exact same joke for as many episodes as the BBC will let you run) I will attempt to finish this product review without repeating the name of aforetomentioned product.
Now I have no doubt that a great many of you will have never heard of this sports performance enhancing aid, so I will give you a brief explanation of the wonders that 'science' has produced. I wanted to write something witty here, but fortunately for me the company themselves have managed to save me the time by answering these questions on their very own website...
What is Power Balance?
"Power Balance is Performance Technology designed to work with your body’s natural energy field. Founded by athletes, Power Balance is a favorite among elite athletes for whom balance, strength and flexibility are important."
and
How does the hologram work?
"Power Balance is based on the idea of optimizing the body’s natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram in Power Balance is designed to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body."
????
These sound like the answers I will be giving my boss on Monday when he returns from his 10 day business trip to the US and asks me what I've been doing for the past two weeks. Essentially... nothing.
So once you put on the POWER BALANCE BAND (I caved under pressure) you are instantly stronger, have more balance and flexibility. If you don't believe me watch this video (which I love).
Now we could get into the worn out stereotypical internet forum based debate about placebos and lack of scientific proof, I could even point out the ability of the tester to vary the pressure he applies to the subject, or the fact that if you stretch as far as you possibly can right now, take a couple of breaths in and out and try to go a little bit further 9 times out of 10 you can... do it. Do it now. That'll be $5 for improving your flexibility. But what would be the point? Instead I will just give you my personal experience of the band.
I was given (note given, not bought) the band after Christmas. Since putting it on, I felt, well nothing. But I kept telling people that I felt more powerful and flexible. Then last week I managed to pull a muscle while training. Now the brand Power Balance is very careful not to guarantee anything so pulling a muscle due to weakness/inflexibility is definitely not a fault from my POWER BALANCE BAND, but it does leave me some what sceptical.
You may think after reading this that I am not recommending this product, and that I may never wear it again after my injuries, but you would be mistaken. I will continue to wear it for one reason, and one reason only. I am anticipating a scenario in the not too distant future, where I fight someone who does believe in the power of the POWER BALANCE BAND but unfortunately couldn't afford / didn't have time to buy one. Then, I expect to effortlessly overpower them and they will tap before I even apply pressure to the submission! So here is me asking you (if you are a blue belt at around 80kg) to please believe in this product but not to buy one! Thank you.
Finally a few videos for fun. Firstly a video I've been promising a few German co-workers who are fascinated by this term 'lock-leg' and the damage that can be caused. I'm pretty sure I'm breaking some sort of laws here that would make Dana White call me 'The Dumbest F*ck on Earth', but that doesn't take much now does it.
I would just like to point out that the winner of that contest received a small fine and a short ban, lasting approximately the sensible amount of time to wait in between fighting MMA bouts and would have been back into the cage before his opponent was probably off his crutches and staring at another couple of months of hard rehab.
Every time I watch this clip, I want to watch it again. This, in a title fight. Sick.
*In no way shape or form am I objective about anything I write in this blog.
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